The second chance
by randomlyme12
Summary: What if Julian got a second chance in a way he never imagined?
1. Chapter 1

Fire woke up in a cold sweat. It was those stupid dreams again. They always revolved around the same concepts. It was like a story, but it refused to be told in order. She kept getting it in clips and pieces. Something about games. Games and shadows. And eyes, oh the eyes, the horrific awful eyes, eyes of malice and horror and... and hunger. She hated those eyes. This clip had been in some sort of twisted amusement park. Horrific displays, filled with gory images. It was an amusement park from back at the beginning of the century. It had been nearly a hundred years since those were popular. They didn't even run anymore, but she'd felt the familiarity in her dream. Had she watched a historical movie recently? She didn't think so...

Fire shook her head as she tried to recall the fleeting images. There was a fun house, hysterical laughter, and the wax figures. The figures of people in the midst of unimaginable torture. She remembered some vaguely from her history class, The Rack, The Iron Maiden, The Stocks... In the dream she was not herself. She was another girl, she knew in the dream but she could not remember here. There were other people going through this horrific room as well. They were looking for things. Fire thought in this exact moment they were looking for a person. The torture scenes were making them all sick. They needed to feel better. _I am my own master._ For some reason this phrase stood out to fire. It was important. They felt better. They kept walking. One of the people there, a boy with a teddy bear body and sarcastic spaniel eyes. He said something that made her look on a table. A blue dress. Summer! Although Fire wasn't sure why the season was so significant all of the sudden. And then fear, so much fear. Fear for the blue dress, fear of what was inside the blue dress. The body in the blue dress. "Look out!" came a cry from a beautiful voice. Fire, or whoever fire was, saved the body just as something huge came and nearly knocked them out... and that was it.

Fire immediately brought her helmet up. She connected the wire to her temple and projected the images and words she could remember into the log in device. The diary helmet only responded to her brainwaves. It was her most prized possession.

There had been things missing in this clip that were in most. There hadn't been the tall handsome boy. Fire thought his name was Tom. Names were the last thing she remembered with most people. In her dreams she was crazy about Tom. But as she went over the remembered images it wasn't Tom she was fascinated by, it was Julian. Julian had been the other thing missing from her dream. She couldn't decide if she liked that or not. In her dreams she was terrified of him. He was dangerous and complicated and completely and totally in love with her in the most repulsive and adrenaline rushing way possible. It was the obvious difference between her now and the her from her dreams. The her now was fascinated by the danger when the dream her was scared. It could have been because Fire knew it was only a dream when she was awake, but it could also be because she had no real Tom. Either way it was Julians impossibly perfect face that made the dreams interesting.

Fire looked at the clock. 3:45. Well there was no chance of her going to sleep now. Fire walked over to the treadmill. She turned it on and suddenly she was walking through a calm light forest. The air was calming and relaxing as the treadmill's sensors took in her steady mood. Virtual reality, you had to love it. She let the breeze wash all thoughts of torture devices and bodies in blue dresses.

Before she knew it, it was time to get ready for school.

Fire looked at herself in the mirror and studied herself. She was overcome by a sense of deja vu. Blonde honey hair, straight brushstroke eyebrows, forest green eyes, mousy nose, full bottom lip. It was her from the dreams. She didn't look like that in real life. Her hair was a dark ebony color. It wasn't straight like in her dreams, it was a wild mess of waves that no matter how much you brushed it managed to tangle again in a matter of minutes. Fire's eyebrows were not straight brushstrokes, but two no-nonsense arches that were the most expressive part of her face. Her nose was small, wide and buttony and not mousy at all. Her lips were a full round pout, soft in severe contrast to her cat-like eyes. The one physical characteristic that was the same in real life as it was in her dream was her dark forest green eyes. She stared at them curiously for a second longer before splashing cold water into her face.

"I'm coming Marty, hold onto your steering wheel!" Fire shouted in the general direction of the front door. She'd left her board around here somewhere.

"Fire we are going to be late! You know the boxes close at eight sharp! I've been locked out three times already, I can't stay at night anymore I have things to do!"

Found it! The pressed the on button and the board began to hum as it began to power up. She stepped on it and hovered over the ground. She sailed around front. Fire chuckled as she saw Marty on his board only straddling it one leg on each side floating so that his head was level with hers even though she was standing. Marty and his odd eccentric ways... "Finally, Jesus Fire I think you want us to get shut out." Marty was on one of his rampages. The guy was so moody, some part of Fire thought he may have only been such good friends with her because she seemed to be the only person who could keep up. "I mean seriously do you want me to fail this course, the neurology of man isn't the easiest course, especially with all the recent discoveries in the cerebral cortex. I'm having to do three independent studies on the recent developments and even with a big dose of headache medicine I can't seem to get rid of the throbbing underneath my temples, and I can't figure out how to get rid of it which is probably not good since I'm taking a whole class on it!" He finished breathlessly. Fire could only chuckle. Then two minutes later, "So what'd you bring for lunch?"

Fire cocked a brow at his sudden change in topic. He ignored it. "Peanut butter, and some crackers."

"I brought lasagna," he said, as if this were some sort of monumentally important statement.

"Nice choice," Fire commented. She hated that she couldn't really concentrate on what her friend was saying, but she was still thinking about her dream. She thought she knew the blue dress from one of her other dreams, dreams from the house the strange strange house. She got a flash of memory of a room swamped in horrible things. People shouting, _come on! It's coming down! Come back!..._

"Jenny."

"What?" Fire swung her head around fast enough to give her whiplash. Jenny... Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. That sounded so familiar. It was going to kill her now, she knew that name from somewhere.

"Haven't you been listening?" said Marty, looking thoroughly offended. "I said the name Marty is so plain. It's not my fault my mother was named Jenny and had to take it out on me. I mean the name Fire is so cool. It's exotic and fierce and powerful and it captures attention. People name their hamsters Marty." Fire was thoroughly confused as to how this topic came about, but decided to go along with it.

"I don't know I always thought the name fire was weird, I mean my mother's name is Rain, am I going to have to name my kid Wind? That's stupid. I always liked the Zena or Flace," Fire admitted.

"Zena is pretty common though. I only know one Flace, so yea it's cool. And you don't have to carry on some sort of elemental family legacy you know, although it would be kind of cool. Like Lightening or something, or Moon."

"I am not naming my child Moon. What kind of name is that? I mean what if it's a boy?" Fire questioned.

"I guess that would be a little awkward... almost as awkward as Marty!" His shoulders drooped. Marty and his complexes... Fire watched his pout. She couldn't help but chuckle. Even though Marty was only a few months younger then her, Fire couldn't help but think of him as an amusing little brother. He was her best friend, too though. Marty never bugged her like a little brother, but for some reason she always felt older than, even protective of him.

"I think Marty is a classically genius name. It's so vintage it's unique. I'd give my kid a classically great name. I'd name my kid Julian," Fire rambled, then stopped short. She'd never even said his name aloud before. It was funny how she had said his name so casually, like it was just the natural order of things. It wasn't though, she'd never even thought of the name Julian before the dreams. It was a name that hadn't been popular in centuries. It was a name that did not belong to her hypothetical children, but to a beautiful boy with white blonde hair and electric blue eyes. Eyes that in her dreams looked at her with a sort of sick want. Eyes that stuck out to fire more then any other part of her dreams.

"Jesus, Fire look out!" Marty shouted! Fire jumped back into reality and saw a brown blur up ahead of her. She fell back on her board. She was only a few feet about the ground so she didn't anticipating it hurting quite so bad. She let out an agonized gasp. Her leg felt as if it were throbbing. She felt in the pockets of her cargo shorts. Damn, she'd managed to land right on her swiss army knife. They didn't even make these things anymore. They had much more advanced weapons for people to ward off muggers. Consequently people just didn't do that all that much anymore. The police had developed much more accurate lie detection tests as well as brain wave multipliers to turn thoughts into images. You had to be extremely talented to get away with impulsive crimes. It made Fire feel good to know that the world was a much better place then it was say a hundred years ago when people were running amuck and hardly controlled. Wars sprang up over nothing. People were dying every few seconds. Fire was glad she lived now, and not then.

Seventy-five years ago world wide rebellions erupted. Thousands upon thousands of women had opted for permanent infertility to show that they were equal to men and refused to be subjected to opression. Civilians banded against and torched oppressive government buildings. It was like gasoline and matches a few sparks went up and it seemed like the entire world was erupting in chaos. Riots, protests, destruction. All of it turned out for better somehow. After that the population had gone down significantly. Over the next plenty of years scientists made amazing discoveries, inventors were coming up with a flood of inventions, people as a whole were better.

And yet Fire just couldn't seem to leave behind her swiss army knife. She'd found it one day, when she was ten, the same day the dreams had started. She didn't know if there was a connection or not, but Fire always had it. It had just been lying there, in good condition. Fire had instinctively, almost involuntarily, picked it up and shoved it into her pocket. And now it had come back to kick her... hard in the leg. She rolled onto her stomach with a groan. She vaguely heard Marty getting off his hoverboard and coming over to see if she was ok. She looked up into the eyes of a mangy, angry aggressive looking cat.

She let out another grunt. "Marty, I'm okay. Just stay over there. There's an angry cat over here."

"Wait, no I'm coming it'll get you!" The ever heroic Marty... Fire smiled.

"You know animals hate you, and by the time you walked over here it would have gotten me in the eye anyway. It won't hurt me, I'll be okay." Marty had discovered his adversity to cats when Fire had brought home a scruffy one. She'd taken a picture of it before, then given it a bath and cleaned it up. She'd wanted to show Marty how stunning the car was and as soon as he'd stepped into the room the cat had attacked. She didn't show Marty her fixed up strays anymore. She gave them all to the animal shelters. Animals never bit Fire.

"Hey kitty," she cooed reaching a hand up to pet it's head. It tensed up, narrowed it's eyes, and started to move back, but it didn't make a sound or move away any more than that. Fire reached out and pet it. "Good kitty, you're not so tough." You're not so tough. Not so tough. But the cat was tough. If it was Marty the cat would demonstrate just how tough it was. But it was Fire, and the cat was still tough. For some reason it didn't need to show Fire how tough it was, it could just be. Fire never understood her relationship with animals, but she didn't question it. SHe was always taking them in. "Good kitty," she said again, lifting herself up. She tried to get up and her leg nearly gave out. "I'm going to have to get this checked out at the nurse."

Fire limped over to her board. This time she straddled her board like Marty. "Jesus, are you okay? You always stand."

"If you say Jesus one more time today, Marty, He's going to come down from the heavens and slap you. And I'm fine, I landed on a stick. I'll probably have the nurse put some pain medication on it. It'll heal right up." Fire couldn't imagine a world without modern medicine.

"Jesus coming down from the heavens to slap me, wonderful scenario there Fire let me tell you. Why would Jesus come all the way down here just to slap a man? I'm sure He has more important things to do. I mean I'm sure He's a busy guy you know. Worldly affairs and such," Marty rambled.

"Hey once you've been slapped personally by Jesus I'm sure you'd never sin again."

Marty shot her an offended look.

The school was just up ahead. Fire made her way up to the nurse's office. "Hola Dendria," she said smiling despite the huge limp in her step. The nurse looked up from where she had been shuffling through some drawers and smiled.

"Hello there fire, looking as golden as ever." Fire had never understood what she meant by that. Nothing about her was golden, not really. "What can I- well I suppose it has something to do with your limp, did you take a bad fall?"

"Yea I fell off my board on the way here. Landed on a stick actually, almost landed on a cat."

Dendria pulled up Fire's pant leg. On it was a big ugly welt the size of her swiss army knife. "Must have been some stick," Dendria said with a cocked eyebrow. She walked over to the big green cabinet resting on the back wall and took out a white tube labeled PAIN. She slathered a quarter size amount of the clear goop onto the welt. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... gone. That never ceased to amaze Fire. Like how years ago you'd take possibly ineffective medicine that took forever to work and still only got rid of symptoms.

"Thanks." Fire started to walk out. "Wait, I need a scan pass." Dendria gave her the small credit-card sized square of plastic.

Fire ran down the empty halls to her room. Inside the rood were four boxes, already closed. She walked up to the large dark blue mechanical box and slipped her scan pass under the scanner. The door opened. Inside were three occupied seats, and one empty one waiting for her. Marty, Kenice, and Strayd were sitting there all looking slightly dazed. When they were oriented Marty waved, Strayd put his head down on the table in the center of the seats, and Kenice gave her signature peeved stare. Fire just smiled good naturedly and slid into her seat.

_Creeeeaaaak, Snap!_

The sound of the door closing never really sat well with Fire. It was like the lobby before going into surgery. Or saying yes to playing another game and waiting for it. _You just applied your dreams to real life situations, get ahold of yourself it's nothing new. _Only recently for some reason recently the dreams had been coming more often and in some semblance of an order. It was giving Fire a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She decided to ignore it.

And with a new attitude of denial in mind Fire let herself be transported to ancient Rome for her history lesson.


	2. Chapter 2

**157 years earlier**

Julian savored his last moment awake watching Jenny's beautiful golden face. Her eyes were bright with tears. She was screaming at him, but he couldn't hear anymore. Her eyes were beautiful even now. She was so good. He couldn't help but want it for himself. He'd been about it all wrong. He should have swept her off her feet, not into a game. He didn't deserve her.

If he had it to do over... but it could never happen.

In his last moments he thought about the amusement park. There would be no chance of her almost dying now. He was out of the picture. How she must hate him. That had changed him, broken him somehow. She'd managed to tear him apart completely. He wasn't himself anymore. He had never been so afraid in his life. She was the one thing that caused him fear, caused him pain, caused him to drive himself mad with desire. He wanted something he could not have. Even broken he had to still be a shadow man. They did not deserve happiness. They did not deserve golden sunshine. He did not deserve Jenny.

If he had it to do over again. He would do everything right. He gave himself comfort in that. He may have seconds to live, but if he had it to do all over again he would do everything right. "I wish..." he started to say, but the words wouldn't go to his lips. He hoped dearly she could see it in his eyes. _I love you Jenny. I died for you Jenny. I did that Jenny. Because you deserve a wonderful life without me Jenny. It's a beautiful way to go Jenny. Because you're beautiful Jenny. Because I love you Jenny. _He hoped his eyes said all that. But even his eyes, born in perfection destined for destruction, could not truly say how he felt. They were too used to telling lies.

And then the pain started. Pain that he felt ten times more then any human ever hoped to feel anything. He felt every molecule ripping apart into vapor. This wasn't supposed to hurt. This wasn't the way it happened. Shadow Men felt nothing. And yet it was like blind lightening was erupting in his body. It started from within. He was being destroyed. He couldn't gasp, he couldn't cry because his mouth was disappearing. His eyes felt as if they were staring at lightening flash from millimeters away. He couldn't take the light. It was searing, like sticks of burning metal were poking at every fit of his flash. He couldn't scream, he needed to scream. Julian needed to scream. He couldn't describe this pain. It was like being emersed in scalding light. It was like being burned from the inside out.

It was like being on Fire.

And then after what felt like hours but must have merely been seconds, Julian felt everything fade to black.

* * *

_I'm dead. I'm really dead. _Something wasn't right.

Consciousness. That wasn't supposed to be there. He was not supposed to be alive. Maybe he wasn't alive, but he still shouldn't be able to think. Unlike humans, Shadow men knew what happened to them. They faded to nothing. There was no after-life for them. Maybe this was Jenny dreaming of him, but that wasn't real, that was something thing he had told her to make her feel better. He was not supposed to be alive. But then again, maybe he was dead, there was an awful haze in his mind. He couldn't think clearly.

Julian attempted moved his fingers. They didn't work. He tried to open his eyes. Nothing.

"You want out?" Julian attempted to turn in the direction of a highly accented high pitched voice.

"You do, do you not? Speak up for I'm an old woman," said the voice. Then hefty laughter, as if this were a most hilarious joke. Julian couldn't believe this. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk, he couldn't see. There was some woman prancing around like she held him under chains and he couldn't do anything to stop her. He had never felt helpless. Julian did not feel helpless. He would not feel that way now. By sheer willpower he found his voice. He was here for Jenny.

"Where am I?" Julian strained. The words caught like ash in his throat. He would not cough. He wouldn't show her the weakness. Also he knew if he coughed it would only hurt worse.

"Well well talking already? You are certainly strong aren't you. Well you are a Schattenmann, aren't you?" more laughing. "Aren't you?" The voice turned almost sing song. "Aren't you, aren't you, aren't you?"

"Yes. And I plan to get out of here. I'm good at games." Julian was glad his voice sounded more defiant then he felt.

Even more laughter. He was going to ring this woman's throat. Well, he would when his eyes and fingers started working. "Silly silly not-so-Schattenmann. I do not believe in games. Games are for Shattenman. That's why they are confined to the world of ice and shadows. Games are for those without the power to be direct. Oops, that's what you did isn't it. Game after game after game. Tell me not-so-Schattenmann who won? If you are so good at games, why are you here? You are here because you lost," she stated bluntly, then she started in the sing song voice. "You lost, you lost, you lost. In your world of frost. Hunting for light, caused such a fright, but in the end she showed you whose boss." More laughter.

"Okay then how do I get out?" he nearly shouted. The haze in his mind was causing it to throb. The ash in his throat caught. And yet he had enough anger to talk through the pain. It may not have been loud but it held enough anger to make most people tremble. His temper was rising to a deathly level.

"You don't even know where you are, young one. You don't even know what's happened. You were supposed to feel nothing. You were supposed to think no more. After all who thinks after death?" She ended with, of course, more laughing. He'd ring her throat. He'd stick her in a world so viciously made she'd never survive. How dare she challenge him, treat him like an insignificant, taunt him with songs. Remind him of what he did wrong. Julian would kill her. He would kill her, and he would ring it out.

"You are a malevolent little spitball aren't you. Thinking nasty little promises you can't keep. Really, how did you attain that hair color, child. Sethmet had glorious bronze hair. Wulfin had such a lovely blonde color you saw and instantly thought of warm sweet soft things. Arjun had that midnight black that gave him that devilish look. How did you get stuck with white? Not even a light blonde, but the stark white of a balled up soggy piece of paper."

That, surprisingly, calmed Julian down a bit. He knew he was the look of perfection, it was just the laws of his kind. Insult his strength, insult hit wit, insult his decisions, insult his pride and you will die, but Julian knew his looks were not the point of his existence and that he would turn into what the other Shadow Men were now. He had never seen the other Shadow Men in perfection. He was so much younger. This woman had to be old to have seen them at their creations. Julian was now curious. He felt like chuckling. Jenny had always wondered at his mood swings.

"You've seen the others in perfection?" he questioned. He was surprised he could even be curious enough to ask questions through the mental fog.

"Of course, were you under the impression you were in some thirteen year old girls home who put a blanket over your head so you couldn't see or move? Honestly, child, if you can manage to start talking within minutes, which usually takes years by the way, you can figure out that I am able to put you on total lockdown." She actually sounded a bit insulted. So maybe he could just drive her nuts with blunt stupidly obvious questions until she just killed him a second time. It would be for Jenny this time too.

"So does that mean you are powerful?"

"Is it amusing to be stupid, or are you going somewhere with these pointless questions. You know I've never been one for small talk. I've always been a direct sort of person. Small talk is for uninteresting people. Never pegged you for uninteresting, but Hel I've been wrong before," she said, and laughed again. "Oh hell, I'm so clever." She laughed even harder. All thoughts of _him_ driving _her _crazy were over.

"Doesn't this count as a game? Doesn't this count as being indirect? Not telling me where I am, keeping me under a 'blanket' so I can't see or move, not telling me why I am here. I can't even see. This isn't a very fair game either." Talking this much was making his head hurt.

"That's because we are not playing a game, you are simply going by my rules. You must figure out where you are. There once was a boy too stupid, to figure out where he fell. If only he were a little more lucid he could see that he'd landed in hell," she sang.

"I thought hell was filled with fire," he chuckled. The woman outright laughed. Julian's chuckle faded, he started bubbling with anger.

"I'm completely direct, and you're still wrong. That's amazing." How was that being being completely direct? Hell was a place humans went. It was filled with fire, how could she be directly stating where Julian was if this wasn't hell? And then it hit him. It was hell... it just wasn't that hell. It was Helheim.

"Oh, seems like someone has had an epiphany! Look at that! He has a brain!"

"Are you reading my thoughts?" Julian asked in an upmost annoyed voice.

The woman sighed heavily. "It seems I have spoken too soon. You've been here an Earth month, come on now we don't have forever. Well actually that's not true, I simply don't have that much patience."

What the hell? That wasn't possible! Surely he couldn't have been here for more then an hour. He could not have been unconscious for that long. There was absolutely no way he could have been here an entire month without his knowing. It wasn't possible.

"Of course it is. Time doesn't really pass the same here as it does on Earth, where you're used to dwelling. You see, little one, I get bored very easily here. It's not all that fun, forever. I mean do not get me wrong, I love my home, but honestly dealing with people like you who have yet to figure out who I even am, tries up my patience. One of my favorite hobbies is watching humans, you know, much like you, only instead of meddling with their minds I just watch the productivity and destruction. And while you may thrive in the fact that the world, for lack of a better word, sucks, I don't too much like it. But in a way it's masochistically amusing to watch. Of course I can't take a hundred years of watching people tinker with the car, so I speed it up. For me it was only about three months ago ago when women couldn't show their ankles and were gossiping over tea in fine china. Horrible age that, nothing but petty bimbo women with no will of their own. Twas a man's world. And now look: women have no idea what they even want. Half of them are parading around in less clothes then a raccoon and the other half are asserting their independence and losing all womanhood in the process. Of course this issue is one of the few concerns I have for mankind. I won't bore you with all of my concerns." THen she seemed to gasp audibly. And then she laughed a laugh that out all the others to shame. "You may get out some time, little not-so-Schattenmann. There is some hope still." Her deep Norse accent had turned low and measuring as if on the verge of calculating some major epiphany.

"To do that I will need my body and vision." Julian imagined the irritation in his voice wasn't helping his case, but this woman was... he'd better not finish that though.

"Good choice," she chuckled. "To get your eyes and body back you've got to figure out who I am. That one isn't hard. You're essentially still useless forever. Besides people tend to be more interesting when they can move around. The hard part will be figuring out why you are here. Why did you hurt? Why aren't you nonexistent? How'd you get to Helheim? Essentially, what is going on. It will be then that I will give you a set of powers, and a chance."

Julian tried to think, but it was extremely hard through the haze in his mind. She didn't age, obviously. She had at least the power to bend time. The fog was swirling around his head. He felt like the answer was so completely obvious, but he just couldn't put the pieces together. She lived here, because she'd called this her home. Other people had been in his same predicament. She was... damn it he knew this! She was the keeper of this place. The goddess that ruled this world! Her name was... her name was...

"Hel!" He shouted, and then he roared in agony. Laughter rang in his ears. His eyes burned horribly. His head hurt to the point where if was sure it would explode. The ash in his throat filled so that he couldn't breath. He was choking. Was he dying again? Jenny. And then once again everything faded to black.

* * *

_Stop shaking me. What the hell is that? The world is moving! Why won't I just die already!_

"So we've resorted to self pity? Dear me, child, wake up! I have plans for you! That's it... up and at em You're wasting time little one, come on now," she cooed. She'd been shaking him.

"Get the hell off of me," Julian growled. He never cursed. Especially not in front of a lady, even if it was Hel. He then noticed that there was no fog in his mind. He was thinking clearly.

"I figured you'd need to think clearly because a fog plus a state of denial means you're never going to figure out why you're here," Hel chuckled. "You work by the way."

Julian tried to move his fingers. They were stiff, but they were there. He put his hands under him and pushed himself up off the floor. His arms shook like a newborn lamb's legs. Slowly but surely he lifted himself up. "Ugh," he groaned as his legs nearly gave out form under him. His hands flung out and his fingers hit a wall. He breathed in deeply and by sheer will power stood up in his own. He planted his feet and raised his hands over his head. "Unnnghh. Ahhhh," he grumbled as he stretched himself out like a cat. Then his eyes began to itch. Julian attempted to open them. It felt as if they were rusted together. He rubbed them until he was sure they were bleeding and raw. Finally he felt like he could pry then open without ripping skin. "Ahh!" The light!. It was horrible.

"Oops, I didn't really think about that... actually I did and I thought it was funny." Julian growled at the goddess. The lights dimmed... after she chuckled for a bit. He opened his eyes. His surroundings looked like a blackish-purple cave. Tunnels lead in every direction behind him, but in front of him was a humongous flat black-purple wall. Immediately he was in a crouching defensive position.

"What exactly were you thinking would happen. I told you I don't play games. Look around, you'll be here for a while. In fact you've already been here for a while. Well in a way..." Hel said, and he saw her for the first time.

His first thought was that she looked nothing like the old crone depicted in most mythological paintings, to which she replied, "Thanks, little one, you don't look that much like a spitball either." His second thought was that she looked more like an underworld goddess then even the old crone depiction.

The woman before him looked to be in her mid-twenties. Her black hair reached down a few inches below her waist and seemed to move with it's own wind. Her skin was porcelain white. Her mouth was a severe pout that arched up in a wicked and sick smile. Her dress was as black as her hair and swept down onto the floor in a long train. Her face had an impish look, and a mischievous expression.

Her eyes were all black, no iris, no pupil, no whites. All black, and all insane. "Really, love, you had me at the sick wicked smile!" Julian blinked. He hadn't even realized he'd been analyzing her. She was beautiful in a way that was hard to look at, even for Julian, someone completely used to the idea of perfection. He actually wanted to get away from her gaze. She was watching him with an amused and calculating expression. He did not like it. Her lips fell back revealing perfect white teeth. She giggled.

"Look Father I'm a real boy!" Hel laughed. "No freakish nose, no strings, no powers. At the rate you're going you will never get your powers back. You're odd mottled powers that aren't really ever going to be quite the same because... well you have yet to figure that out don't you."

"Wait, at this rate? What do you mean? I can't have been out that long!" he roared. He intended to shout at this woman at every chance he got without the fog in his mind.

Her voice was tinkling and annoyingly light. "First of all, I can't believe that is the portion of my statement you picked up, and secondly you have been out for four days."

"It's only four days, surely you have more patience than that," he said serenely. He needed to get on top of this situation.

"Oh, little not-so-Schattenmann... think. Four days. Four of my days. Four of my days are nothing to me, but they may mean something to you."

And then it hit Julian like bricks. Four days. One hour equaled one month here. Four days, that was...

Eight years.

His eyes widened, and the blood drained from his face. Jenny was twenty-five. She'd spent eight years of her life without him. She'd had eight years that he'd completely missed. She'd spent eight years alone. "I need to see her. I need to see Jenny, I have to know she's okay. I have to know she's happy. I'm here for her happiness. I need to see her right now," he blabbed. He was pacing back and forth. He couldn't slow down. He needed to... he needed to hit something. He needed to create something. He needed to do something.

He had no powers. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't even watch.

"Um... actually-"

"Show me, now!"

She only laughed. "Say please."

"You will not treat me like a child, show me Jenny!" He spun around and looked at her. Gone was her smile. In it's place was an expression that chilled him even more then the wicked smile. Her all black eyes were narrowed and her face was twisted into something sinister. Her eyes had never looked more insane. The wind around her hair seemed to increase, making her dress flutter. She seemed to become a part of her domain.

On what seemed to be a cloud of air but could only have been her feet she glided over to him. She seemed to rise up to his height and when she got right in front of him she was completely equal to him. Her black insane eyes seemed to bore right into his unearthly blue ones. "You do not order me about as if you have authority, cretin. You are in my domain. You will treat me with respect. You do not want to anger me and lose your only chance." Her voice was low, authoritative, and deadly. Her mouth slowly spread out into a smile. It was just as deadly. She turned and walked in the direction of where she was standing before.

Julian did what was probably one of the stupidest things he had ever done. He yelled back. "What chance?" He sounded desperate. Like he was crazy. Maybe he was. "I have no chance. Chance at what? Jenny was the only think I've ever wanted! She's 25. She's had eight years to forget about me! She has a life! She has a family. She has to forget about me! I blew my chance! I cannot live without her! I am not supposed to live! You cannot just ask me to stand here, stay here, with no power and no authority and no way to interfere! Why am I not allowed to die!" he yelled. He couldn't breathe. He crumbled to his knees.

Her face got an almost excited look. All traces of her temper were gone. "But that is what you must figure out! Why are you here! Shadow Men do not fall here! Why have you fallen! Figure it out Julian! All will be worth the end!"

"How can it be worth it! She is gone! I am not allowed to have her light. I am not allowed to be warmed by her fire!" Julian moaned. Hel looked away from him. The calculating expression was back. She didn't speak for what seemed like forever. When she began again her voice was quiet and far away.

"Hmmm... Fire. I quite like that. It's exotic and fierce and powerful and it captures attention. Terms, language, and names all change from time period to time period, but fire is so eternal. What if you got your own fire, Julian? Isn't that worth fighting for? THe end is worth it, little one. Fight for it. Figure out why you are here. You are strong."

"What am I supposed to go on? How am I supposed to figure out the answer with no clues! What are my clues!"

She laughed, and she giggled. "That is not an answer!" he cried.

"Isn't it though?" she almost whispered. This only succeeded in confusing him more.

"Please let me see Jenny," he whispered from the floor.

Her expressioned changed into one of sympathy and her mouth formed a small sad smile. She lifted a delicate looking porcelain hand and made a swiping motion in the air in the direction of the large flat wall. The wall seemed to flicker and the the wall exploded with color. Julian sheilded his eyes. "WHat is it with you and blinding color! First my death then my eyes and now this!"

"Truly sorry, but I don't really have control over the endurance level of your pupils," snapped Hel, but she was smiling. And then the entire wall was a screen. And there was his Jenny.

Her and all her original friends. They were in the midst of a small party. They were all twenty-five now. Jenny was serving them all snacks.

There was Audrey with her copper hair. She looked the same as she had before if not more polished and refined. She was dressed in a black business suit. She had an engagement ring on her finger. Micheal was sitting next to her practically gushing with pride. He'd lost some weight, and his spaniel eyes were shining with love. It made Julian sick. Zack was there with his beagle knows and gray eyes that now looked more alive then Julian had ever seen them. He even let out a laugh at something one of the others had said. He got up to the snack table and started getting food next to Summer, who looked small and delicate as ever. She looked up at him with her blue eyes and smile. She pecked his cheek. He turned and stroked her face. Then she went back to her seat in the living room and Zack continued to put snacks in his plate. This did not help Julian much. He was still waiting for the worst of it.

Next Dee popped up. She was the same girl, athletic, confident, and determined. There was something else there now. And then Julian knew, she was going to college. She had taken his words to heart. Julian smiled. At least he'd managed to do something right. Dee walked over to a man Julian had never seen before. He was every bit as handsom as she was beautiful. He looked very educated and sharp. But when she walked over his gaze softened and hers got more playful. Julian could not have been more shocked.

And then the screen swiveled to Tom. He walked over to Jenny. Julian's breath went away. Tom was holding a small practically newborn child. It looked just like Jenny. But the little girl had some of Tom in her too. Jenny and Tom had a little baby girl. His beautiful Jenny, who still looked the same save for maturity behind her eyes and subtle laugh lines, had a baby girl with her husband... someone else.

"She is three months old. Julian and Tom got married at twenty-three. After the games they were, well they were stronger then before. They are both very happy. They named their baby girl Julia. It was Tom's idea, actually."

"They named her Julia, after me. Baby Julia," he whispered. "They are all so happy."

"You helped all of them you know. You made Dee realize she needed to make something of herself. You made her realize she was more than a series of karate kicks. You made Zack open up to reality. You made Summer realize she was important and not just a liability. You made Michael and Audrey realize they loved each other and that they meant something to each other. You made Tom realize how much Jenny meant to him and how much she truly deserved. And you made Jenny realize how strong she was. You made her appreciate the beauty in the world. You made her truly believe that there is good in the worst of the worst. You made her a better person. She loves you for that," Hel said almost timidly.

Julian could not stand let alone move. His heart felt as if it would swell up and shatter. His eyes stung with unshed tears. His lungs were on fire. His rib cage felt as if it would capsize. He curled in on himself and rocked. Distantly he heard whimpering pathetic sounds that he knew could only be coming from himself. He vaguely felt Hel's hand rubbing his back, and faintly heard her humming an old norse lullaby.

He stayed like that for a week.

He stayed like that and thought. He thought about why he was here. He thought about what the clues meant. He realized that she laughed and giggled when she'd let a clue slip. He thought about the things she'd said. She had asked him if he was a Shadow Man and asked repeatedly in a sing song voice aren't you? Was he? Shadow Men did not drop down into the norse underworld where miscellaneous objects fell. Was he a Shadow Man? She'd asked him who thought after death. Who had an afterlife? Humans had an afterlife. But Julian couldn't be human.. he'd been year for several earth years. Jenny was nearly forty now. He didn't watch her anymore. He'd seen enough. She'd said he would get powers, but they wouldn't be the same. Something was tweaked in him.

Jenny had shattered him. It hadn't been simply emotional, the pain he'd felt around her. It had been physical as well. It had been the shadows inside him ripping apart. It had been his insides shattering. He was not human, but he was not a Shadow Man anymore. He was something unique and horrible and in between. He had fallen into Helheim because he was not enough of anything to fall into another world. His ancestors had erased his name, but he was not completely gone because their rules did not apply to him anymore. He was not whole.

"Wrong. You are whole, Julian. Shadow Men are shells of men. They function off of that. You have been filled. You are whole," Hel supplied.

"I am here because Jenny filled me with light. I am here because I am not a Man of Shadows nor a human. I am an odd in between. The shell of a Shadow Man, and the substance of a human. I am here because of Jenny. She saved my life," Julian said.

This time there was no pain. This time his body filled with a feeling he hadn't even realized he's been missing. His strength and confidence returned full force, and yet he knew it was different. It was light. It was good. It wasn't a sick raging adrenaline rush. It was a powerful light feeling. It was like the strength of lightening had filled his veins. He felt himself laughing. He was still a wolf, but wild as opposed to rabid. He felt like himself, no better then himself, like he had the power to do something.

"Now tell me, goddess, what do I have to do to get out of here?"

"You remember how I said i was tired of how mankind continued to cause problems within themselves?"

"Of course."

"Well, I want you to destroy the world as mankind knows it."


End file.
